Imagination is Free

Close your eyes and remember...

I’m going to ask you to do something you may not have ever been asked to do before.

Close your eyes, and think of a recent experience in your life that was extremely stressful. Go to your “nervous, anxious, so angry I want to punch a wall” place. What do you feel like doing?  What would deflate the negative energy you’re feeling?

• Going out to eat so you don’t have to add the stress of cooking to the pile?
• Going shopping and buying anything you darn well please so you regain the feeling of control?
• Having your significant other notice your stress and give you a gift (flowers, jewelry, etc)?
• Going to the spa and getting a massage to help you relax?

These are all things people commonly use to distract themselves from the difficulties we encounter in life.  They may temporarily take your mind off the challenge of the day, but what if you don’t have the funds for such an unplanned expenditure?  You’ll quickly find yourself  trying to recover financially from your stress reducing indiscretion.

Looking at it from a slightly different perspective, what do you do if a loved one is stressed out, and you want to put that smile back on their face but you’re discretionary funds are running on empty?  If you’re my daughter, you pull out a piece of paper and grab your markers.

Towards the end of summer I was going through a very stressful time at work.  I had talked to my wife during the day and she warned the kids before I got home that Dad may not be in the best of moods, and to be on their best behavior as to not give me anything else to worry about. When I got home, my daughter, Tori,  presented me with a card that she made, and had the other family members sign.

The card still hangs on the refrigerator for me to look at on those less than perfect days.

About six weeks ago my wife’s grandmother wasn’t in the best of health. She was visibly upset when she heard about a decline in her grandmother’s health.  She decided that it it was more important at that moment to go see her grandmother than keep the pedicure appointment that she had scheduled that evening.   She cancelled the appointment and drove to the nearby small town to visit her grandmother in the nursing home.   While she was away, Tori wanted to do something to lift her mom’s spirits so she gathered a large bowl, wash cloth, towel, a pumice stone and body wash. She hid these items under the sink in our upstairs bathroom.

When my wife returned and collapsed on the couch, Tori filled the bowl with warm water, brought all the supplies downstairs and started to give my wife her version of a pedicure.  My wife rested her head on the back of the couch and silently watched television with a huge grin on her face.

She did, however, politely decline my daughter’s offer to paint her toenails.

Somewhere along the way my daughter has gained the perspective that the best way to show love, appreciation, and support is by using your unique connection and knowledge of a person.   She knows that her artwork makes me melt. The walls of my cubicle at work are filled with her drawings.   She used that knowledge to create something that would instantly take my mind off of whatever was stressing me out at work.  She knows that my wife loves spa services and used that to create a home spa experience my wife will never forget.

I believe my daughter has it exactly right.  While it’s certainly possible to show someone you love them or to provide a distraction for the challenges of life by purchasing them a gift, sometimes the things that mean the most don’t cost a cent.  In neither instance did she even ask if something could be bought.  She didn’t use her purse, she used the origin of the most precious gifts of all:

Her imagination.