I love my frugal friends. I love all my friends, of course, but I really love my frugal friends. I love sharing frugal tips and annoyances. But my favorite thing is that they don’t make me feel cheap for avoiding spending money.
I was talking to a friend the other day about how to visit Disneyland on the cheap. I live in Phoenix which is a 5 hour drive to Disneyland. This friend just recently moved to Arizona from the East Coast and she’s never been. I was explaining that now that she can drive there it’s really not to bad of a getaway.
I was giving her all my tips and tricks and she was eating it up. I thought to myself “I love having frugal friends.” For one, she never looks down on me for trying to save a few bucks. She doesn’t think I’m crazy for packing my kid’s lunches instead of having them buy lunch everyday. She suggests free or very cheap activities to do with the kids. She invites me over to lunch instead of suggesting we go out. We hit the pool, not the mall.
The other day she mentioned that she put some money on her kid’s lunch cards via the school website. I happen to know they charge a $1 fee for that. I told her she can also send a check to the school and they will load it there for them. She jumped right in. “You can? Good because they charged me a dollar online!” I just smiled. I love having frugal friends.
I had another friend who always gave nice thoughtful gifts. But they were also very frugal. For example, for my birthday she gave me a bunch of different sized post it notes and a nice pen. Not a lot of money. Less than $10 I’m sure. But I loved it! It showed that she knows me. I also loved that she didn’t spend a lot of money. I could enjoy the gift guilt free. I didn’t think “oh, I need to remember her birthday and make sure I get her a gift.” I mean, I did want to do that, but not because I felt like I had to reciprocate an expensive gift. I was able to freely enjoy the gift and not worry about how much it cost her.
When I’m with my not so frugal friends I tend to keep my frugal ways to myself. I might not mention a money saving tip. I might not brag about my latest frugal activity. I will stretch myself a tiny bit in order to maintain our friendship. I will go to a restaurant that I feel is too expensive in order to have a nice lunch with a friend. I hate saying no to activities that are outside of my budget. I appreciate the invite but when it’s something I just don’t see value in I have to turn it down. Then I worry they will stop inviting me places. Do they think I’m poor? Do they think I’m cheap? Will they still be my friend? So I just love it when my friendships and my frugality come together in frugal bliss.
Do you have frugal friends? Do you love them extra?
Ah yes, the difference between non-frugal and frugal friends – I am in a similar boat. When with the “non-frugal” variety, they joke about how much money they spent shopping that day and “really didn’t buy anything they needed.” If we’re in a situation where we have to chose between convenience and saving a few bucks, they say things like, “Oh, it’s only $20, let’s just do it.”
These things just make me cringe.
Frugal friends will patiently wait as you weigh the best option in a store….and will even suggest that you take a day or two to think more carefully about it. My frugal friends bring over coupons they aren’t going to use. Frugal friends call us from the mall or the grocery stores and let us know when they see a killer sale that they think we would take advantage of.
However, my favorite part of your article is the description of the birthday present from your friend. The best kind of present is one that shows the giver knows you, and put some thought into it. Anyone can just go buy a gift card. Except for my kids, I despise Christmas lists. I won’t let my wife tell me what she wants for Christmas, her birthday, or our anniversary. As her husband, if I need her to clue me in on what she likes, well, I think we’re in trouble.
Oh yes, coupon sharing. I can’t believe I didn’t mention that! Good thinking.
My mother is my best frugal friend. She is a Tightwad Gazette worshiper and I have learned so much from her. Even though I have curve balls thrown at me, her teachings have always stayed with me. I always laugh at people who say they got a steal on a new pair of jeans that cost $40. How about less than $5 and then you’ll have my respect.
I was just thinking about one of my closest friends who became the first mother out of our immediate girl group. I really love her for showing me that when you have a baby you can save and be frugal! She has always been frugal but it’s cool to see how she does it with motherhood.
I’ve been watching her as a mom since her baby girl was born and she’s told me which generic diaper brand is best, which generic baby wipes are good, one day she showed me all these toys she got at the swap meet and how to properly disinfect them. They were pretty much brand spanking new!
I just thought when you have a baby you have to buy everything new and brand name. But her baby is happy and healthy and doesn’t know the difference.
Everyone that is frugal can relate to this article.
I have friends that say I ought to enjoy myself from time to time (mostly when we were still paying off our debt). For one I do/did, but it just so happens that my enjoyment comes from just being with my family so as long as I’m doing that, whatever we happen to be doing is really irrelevant, no matter how much it costs. Just because I’m not skiing every single weekend or going to see the next blockbuster at the theater as soon as it comes out, doesn’t mean I am not enjoying myself, my family, or my life. They just don’t get it.
On the flip side, because of how we are now, later on when our friends are having to buckle down because it’s time to start preparing for retirement, we’ll be enjoying our retirement AND going on awesome vacations without going into debt to do it. I really like paying less and avoiding interest is about as smart as it gets. Besides, I’d rather do all the work in the beginning when I’m most healthy and able to, rather than when I’m old and should be enjoying my golden years. 😀
I need more frugal friends. The people I work with go out to lunch everyday. They go to the store for soda and snacks literally 2-3 times a day and just blow money like it’s going out of style. It gets to be a little annoying when they talk about how good their lunch was, but my bagged lunch was already paid for when I bought it at the grocery store. That’s okay though, because I know when I’m driving my paid for cars and wearing my paid for clothes I won’t be worrying about what bills I should pay on the first of the month.
That lifestyle they are living is unsustainable and in my opinion OUT OF STYLE! I love your attitude Brian! You’re absolutely right. When you’re living well on your preparation and hard work, they’ll be waiting for government handouts and a winning lottery ticket. Keep doing your thing man and thank you so much for stopping by to share your thoughts. 😀
“they’ll be waiting for government handouts and a winning lottery tickets…”
Wow, that comment is in bad taste. Why do you seem to hate “rich people”, I work hard as a brain surgeon and earn my money, I work 16 hr shifts at time and I buy lunch, I opt for convenience when you’re in a job where 1 wrong move could kill somebody, I work 100 hr + weeks and why shouldn’t I enjoy my hefty salary which is rewarding as I save lives, I got into Oxford on my own merit, I got my grades and I got a good job. People especially in medical careers do need the convenience of buying lunch, who can blame us? A neurosurgeon like me works at least 50 hours per week and 100 hour weeks are common, the average salary is about $390,000 and people working as neurosurgeons do get paid $750,000 , getting mad at people for buying lunch when some of the “rich people” actually have high pressure jobs like mine , 4 years of a bachelors degree, 4 years of medical school and 6 hours of a residency. It took me 14 years, 14 years. I’ll take a quote from a website
“I’m sure that they don’t like operating at 3 AM on someone partially paralyzed with an intracranial bleed and the outcome very much in doubt. But I’m also sure that at 3 AM they are very convinced that they are the right person for the job and that no one else is going to do it better, regardless of outcome.
Working to help someone in dire need gives surgeons a tremendous sense of purpose in their life. Sure, the career probably significantly impacts their leisure and family time.”
Some people who may buy lunch every day may be people who cut back in areas you overspend.
Hey, if you can afford the extra cost of convenience, and it gives you the appropriate amount of value (which in your description that may certainly be the case), then more power to you. Brad’s point here, however, is that many people that pay a higher cost of convenience (like eating out every day) then go home and complain that they can’t save for retirement, or they have no money to do anything else.
“But my favorite thing is that they don’t make me feel cheap for avoiding spending money.” Hear! Hear! We have friends that definitely make us feel like we need to spend to have a good time together, and others who are happy to kick back in a lawn chair while the burgers are cooking on the BBQ. Yeah, that’s living.
That sounds like a great time to me! 😀