Rated "E" for everyone!

This article is dedicated to the blogger at Cash Only Living. She said she loved my site and invited me to check out one of her posts. I read it and liked it, but another article she wrote called “I Did It! No More Credit Cards!!” grabbed my attention even more. It inspired me to write something about how I felt when we paid off our last credit card. I decided to make it fun by turning it into a story. This has never been done here so I hope I don’t let you down. 😀

Read about when she finally said enough is enough, and declared herself—an enemy of debt! In short, she had this to say:

“I seriously hate credit, creditors, debt, being broke, and all of the other negative things that go along with being a lousy money manager.” – Cash Only Living

I hope this story is at least entertaining for all of you! It was definitely fun for me to write. 😉

Re-Independence Day

It was a cool spring day, and I was extremely happy. The sun was shining bright, but I couldn’t tell you if there were any birds chirping because I was too focused on what I was about to do. It had to be done and there was no stopping me.  I was tired of the same routine month after month, and my destination was now in sight.

I took a second to canvas the area before making my move.  There were two guys at the door and they were loaded to the max with heavy artillery. I had to think fast. Every second that went by felt like two—time was running out. I knew what I had to do.

I walked swiftly in their direction hoping I could squeeze by without detection. You see, they did not know who I was—the enemy. A guy that had encouraged many others to do what he was about to do—a loner. There aren’t many like me and I had been dreaming of this day for a very long time. I was practically drooling. It’s a good thing I had enough cash in my pocket to pay for that kleenex.

I made it to the door but getting past these guys was going to be hard. The one on the right reached his hand up from his jacket pocket, and I thought it was all over. “Would you like a free hat, sir?” he said. What do I say? Until recently, I had always said yes. I had to be strong, but this was different. The hat had a triple-platinum star embroidered on the front, with the word “important” written on the back.

I tried to ignore him but he was too persistent. Before I knew it the other guy was moving in fast. They both must of sensed what was coming, because they started to reach in their back pockets.  I needed to just say it, but before I could, that’s when it happened. Pointed right at my face, they brandished not one, but two free shirts. I stayed calm.

By calm I mean I stuck my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes, and ran as fast as I could while repeating the one word they hate the most. “NO!” (no no no no NO NO no no) As I repeated that now harmonious word over and over, it sounded like a musical in my head. I wanted to break into a quick dance but I remembered I hated musicals.  Back to the task at hand.

I wasn’t sure if my plan worked because I was too scared to look back. I unplugged my ears and it seemed safe—they were gone. I could hear in the distance one of them calling for back up. I needed to find the stairs and make it the 21st floor, and fast!

The Stairway To Freedom

I knew this was going to be no picnic but I was determined to finish what I started. Up the stairs I climbed as fast as I could, which was a lot easier since I recently lost all that added debt. I had just 10 more floors to climb when I noticed I was being followed.They were right behind me. They were mumbling something about rewards cards and that’s when I lost it. “Did you just say rewards cards? REWARDS CAAAARDS?“

As I turned and faced them, I must have been a sight for sore eyes because they were shielding their faces and groaning. They looked terrified. What they didn’t realize was that they found my trigger, and I was an explosion waiting to happen. KABOOOM!! They didn’t even see it coming.

With lighting speed I threw my scissor-tipped throwing knives and diced up those cards like a Thanksgiving turkey. Now I know why they called them rewards cards. It didn’t make any sense at all until that very moment.  Hmm. They were right though—it was very rewarding!

The Final Battle

There I found myself—looking at the door of the man I despise and wanted to see. The day was finally here! I busted through the door, did a cartwheel, and dove into the corner. Just as I suspected, he was expecting my arrival and prepared to offer me 20,000 free air miles. Stunned for a moment, I paused. “Absolutely not!” I said. “Well if you didn’t want Air Miles then why are you here?”, he said with a puzzled expression.

“WHY? I want to close my credit card now!” I said. “The last two times I tried over the phone didn’t work. Gee…I wonder why?”

“Yes…but…why are you naked?”, he asked. “I sold everything I owned to pay you off, what was I supposed to wear?” I thought to myself for a second. Perhaps the two men at the door were just trying to cover me up. He stared back at me all teary-eyed and said what they always say. “But don’t you need one card open in case of an emergency, and what about your credit score?” SMACK! BAM! POP!

Hey, he deserved it.

As I watched him shred my ball and chains I explained to him, “I actually have an emergency fund for emergencies! I’ve decided that I no longer want to fund your retirement portfolio loser! That’s right! I’m leaving home without it. Credit cards are no longer accepted at my household pal, credit score or no credit score!”

Like a gazelle, I frantically dodged and jumped from side to side to escape what would likely become my financial demise. I made it.  Oh how great it feels to be FREE AT LAST!

As I left the carnage I knew one thing for sure. I would never ever forget that day as long as I lived! My moment of triumph had arrived at last, and the smile on my face was better than the brightest of days. Life was good!

…and that was the day that I killed my credit card!!

If you liked it give me some love. Tweet it, digg it, stumble it, and send it to Dave Ramsey for all I care—just do it! 😀