The Power Of A Support System

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Why does part of my brain keep wondering if I’m really going to be able to finish next week?” I asked my wife.

At 8:00am on this coming Sunday the starting gun will fire, and I’ll begin a 26.2 mile run that is the Twin Cities Marathon. I’ve been training hard for the last 9 months, but a little piece of my consciousness seems to want to focus on how hard the last couple of long runs have been.   Then I think about how much further I have to run to complete the marathon and wonder if I’ll really be able to do it.

“I don’t know either,” she stated bluntly. “I’m in awe of what you’ve done in your training. This isn’t the first time you’ve done this, and you said yourself that your training has gone very well. You’re going to ROCK this marathon!”

A little tear formed in the corner of my eye.

I know she’s right. My training HAS gone well. I HAVE done this before and know exactly what to expect. But hearing her words of support at that moment meant the world to me. In the days leading up to the race I spend a few minutes each day giving myself positive reinforcement, going over my hydration and fueling plan, and visualizing crossing that finish line. Ever since that conversation, I replay her words in my head.   They’ll also likely echo in my head as I run the actual marathon, maybe even as I cross the finish line.

Completing a marathon requires a runner to physically exert themselves a high level for several hours. It’s a task that’s not only hard from a physical perspective, but a mental one as well. I can tell you from personal experience that hearing words of encouragement from strangers is invaluable. Seeing a loved one on the side of the street along the way feels like a shot of energy right to your core.

Words of support are that powerful.

Getting out from under the rock of crushing debt is a mentally and physically grueling task in its own right. Hearing words of encouragement along the way makes it just a little easier to keep moving along the path towards your goal.

Here are some of the examples of the countless pushes of encouragement I received in the 55 months Vonnie and I were paying off $109,000 of credit card debt:

Friends: We only told a select few of our friends about our situation. But, those that did know were extremely supportive. They did not judge us, and cheered us all the way to the finish line.

Family: Again, there were only a few family members to whom we disclosed all the details of what we were going through. But when we needed someone to lean on, our family was there. We even needed to swallow our pride and ask for financial help a few times from family members when an unexpected expense popped up that we did not have the funds to take care of on our own.

Readers: I was fortunate enough to find blogging as a part-time career as we fought our way out of debt. As I shared our struggles and successes through various blogs, readers were a pillar of support and encouragement.

We were very selective in whom we told about our debt when we began our journey out of debt. But as time went on we felt more confident in what we were doing, and the progress being made. We began to expand our circle of support, and the crowd of people cheering us on became larger and larger. By the time our final payment approached in January of 2014, there was a sea of people lining the streets, yelling wildly, pushing us towards the finish line.

We couldn’t have made it without them.

About Travis

28 Responses to “The Power Of A Support System”

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  1. Having a support system is extremely important for any task/goals you might have. When I started paying off my debt and turning my finances around, I had my now fiancee encouraging me and helping me get through the tough times. Just a simple question of “how is your budget this month doing?” gives you a little boost when your answer is “Great!” And when is not doing so well, they’re there to tell you that it is going to be okay.

    I kept my debt problems to myself for too long, but now I understand that telling people is a great way to stay motivated. You kind of challenge yourself and try harder not to let your friends and family down.

    • Travis says:

      That’s a great question to be asked, Aldo…..sounds like your fiancee is a great support system. I know exactly what you mean by having people know understand what you’re going through giving you a little extra challenge to not let them down. We became friends with some of the people that worked at our debt relief company…I just could NOT let them down!

  2. Best of luck next week! I’m sure you’ll do well. =) I am very grateful for the support system I have. I’m lucky to have great friends and family that have cheered me on and been there when I needed to vent. The PF community alone has been a great support system when it comes to budgets gone wrong, and my student loans.

    • Travis says:

      Thanks for the support, Erin…..I can’t wait to tell everyone about the race. I’m glad to hear your friends and family have been there for you. I agree that the PF community is an awesome source of support and encouragement….could not have done it without the blogger friends that we’ve made. The amazing thing is, I had no idea this community even existed before we started our journey. I LOVE being part of the PF blogosphere!

  3. Having a support system is important no matter what you are trying to accomplish. We had our cheerleader along the way. It helped to hear their words of encouragement during those not so great moments. Good luck with the Marathon. I’m sure you will be fist pumping across the finish line!

    • Travis says:

      Words of encouragement are powerful, regardless of goal. No matter how strong an individual is, there will be a moment of weakness somewhere, sometime – when those words would be greatly appreciated. I’ll definitely be fist pumping, Brian….I just hope I can get the camera person (they take pictures as you approach the finish line) to capture me mid-fistpump. 🙂

  4. Debt Hater says:

    Good luck in your marathon, with all the training I’m sure you’ll complete it! I agree that having a support system is critical, even if you are the most confident person in the world. It’s nice to at least hear the someone else is supporting you and giving you advice.

    I’m in the same boat with my debt, as only a few people close to me know the details about my debt situation and progress but just being able to talk it over and hear their inputs has been extremely important.

    • Travis says:

      Even as we expanded our “circle” of people that knew our situation we didn’t tell anyone that we didn’t fully trust. Not only does it feel good to have people that support you, but to have the kind of people in your life that you feel that you can trust with anything…..it’s simply invaluable.

  5. This is so great, Travis! It’s amazing how powerful a support system can be. Those days, when we doubt ourselves and ability to succeed, it is often those who cheer us on that keep us moving forward. I also think you were smart to only tell a select few trusted individuals of your situation, especially when you were just starting. Sadly, I’ve seen people tell friends and family expecting their support but not receiving it, which in turn makes a tough journey even harder. I love Vonnie’s encouragement (and I felt the same way when I ran the LA Marathon two years ago) but I know you’ll make it and I’m cheering you on too!

    • Travis says:

      Fellow marathoner…..AWESOME! Vonnie is a never ending source of encouragement….her willingness and ability to pick me up and push me forward is one of the countless reasons I love her to the moon and back. Can’t wait to run on Sunday….thanks for your support!

  6. Kim says:

    I know you’re gonna rock the marathon. After paying off debt, the sky is really the limit. We didn’t tell many people about our debt problems either, but the online support was very helpful.

    • Travis says:

      It’s funny, Kim….I actually think of our debt repayment when I’m running. If I made it through THAT, this run is a piece of cake! Thanks for stopping by!

  7. All the best on your marathon! What an undertaking!. I think that one important part of encouragement is that it’s not effective if it’s saccharine – overly sweet. If it’s a combination of good will and authenticity, it can work wonders. I really look forward to your post about your run. Break a leg! (Hmmm. That doesn’t work, does it? You know what I mean though : )

    • Travis says:

      Thanks, Prudence – this is actually my 4th marathon, and I’m already registered for my 5th next June. Haha, no breaking of legs here….but I do know what you mean. I look forward to sharing my experience!

  8. Ciel Belle says:

    Right now my biggest support system is my BF and my parents. No one else really knows, other than the PF community, that I am paying off this much debt. They have been the best and has kept me on track with everything.

    Good luck with the marathon!!!!!

    • Travis says:

      Your BF and parents are a great foundation in your personal life. From personal experience, I know how hard it is to be open to others about debt, but what a relief it was to let others into our circle, and have people to talk to and understand what we were going through. BUT, the important thing is that you DO have a support system, and that IT IS WORKING! Good luck to you with eliminating your debt, Ceil Belle!

  9. As others have said, you’re going to kill that marathon Travis! You’re spot on about the support system. We all want to be encouraged as we do things, especially when the weight of them is significant. I know when I go through something that’s challenging it’s the encouragement of those around me that help keep me pushing on to accomplish whatever it is I’m striving towards.

  10. I haven’t told anyone IRL about my debt or about my blog, but I am so thankful for the support of those in the PF community and from readers of my blog. It is so helpful to get feedback when I have a question or a struggle and so amazing to hear their words of encouragement when I make progress on my goals. It’s even more important during the times we are struggling, when we don’t make as much progress as we’d like or when we experience financial setbacks along the way.

    • Travis says:

      It’s also very helpful to talk to people who have gone through the same thing….as in our beloved PF community. It adds validity to their opinion and their advice….which has been invaluable to me as well. thanks for sharing, Kayla!

  11. Michelle says:

    It is very hard to pay off debt when everyone around you is not on board. It is like fighting an uphill battle. It is very similar to going on a diet when everyone around you is eating cookies.

    • Travis says:

      LOL, great analogy, Michelle. We had some friends that shopped a LOT….and when we started paying off our debt it was hard to watch them go off for the afternoon knowing that it just wasn’t possible for us to participate. We felt left out at times…..we just kept telling ourselves that it wasn’t easy, but it was going to be worth it. We were right!

  12. jeffersonq says:

    Well said, Travis! I don’t know if we ever would have been able to escape from debt ourselves if we didnt have all the support of other PF bloggers and our readers on the site. Having a good support system is essential to accomplishing anything.

    • Travis says:

      You know exactly what I’m talking about, Jefferson – sometimes support groups that exist to get people through challenging times in their life are made fun of in movies, and even in conversation. But they are invaluable to those that use them! Great to hear from you, my friend!

  13. Fehmeen @Loans and Lifestyle says:

    I read somewhere that sharing a goal with friends and families actually motivates you more to achieve that goal, provided they keep encouraging you and asking about the progress. A support system is ever so important in our lives, because they not only lend a helping hand in times of need, but also help you be more accountable for your goals in life. Glad you managed!

    • Travis says:

      I agree that sharing your goal will help motivate you – but you do have to be careful with whom you share those goals. If you share them with the wrong people, they will do nothing, or even worse be a negative influence on you. Share with the right people, however, and they will lovingly push and motivate you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  14. Having people in your corner and on your side is huge. There is so much negativity in the world and many people are even against themselves. It’s great to have others support you along your goal. I also hope that others realize just how much simple compliments and praise means to others and they pass it on.

    • Travis says:

      The power of just a smile, or a few kind words is completely underrated. We always seem to be looking to rip each other down – imagine what we (as a human race) could accomplish if we worked together!

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