“You Know You’re Broke If… “- 50 Ways to Know if You’re Light in the Wallet

You Know You're Broke If...

If you’re broke, well, you probably know you’re broke.  Most of the time nobody has to tell you.  Even so, today I thought it would be fun to inform those who may be a little unsure by taking a look at the lighter side of being light in the wallet.

So I made a list of 50 ways you know you’re broke.

Because sometimes talking about money can be boring and you just gotta have a little fun!

 

You Know You’re Broke If…

…Your latte’ bill is as vente’ as your car payment.

…You comfort yourself by saying “Mo’ money, mo’ problems”.

…If you have no change left under the couch cushions.

…If you paid more for your car than your house.

…The shoes in your closet are worth more than your 401k.

…if you stopped on a dime you’d double your net worth.

…If you go to the title pawn shop and the only title you have is the title of that great American novel you’ve been planning to write.

…Your idea of feeding the poor is making yourself lunch.

…Your bologna has no first name.

…If most of the clothes in your closet still have the tags on them.

…If you give blood just for the free snacks.

…You are living paycheck to paycheck.

…Your “Investment Portfolio” consists of lottery tickets and beanie babies.

…You look in the floor of your car for fast food money.

…You look in the floor of your car for fast food.

…You are watering down the ketchup.

…You can’t afford the free apps for your phone.

…You have more car payments than people in your family.

…You can’t pay attention or the piper either.

…Your credit card company calls to say “enough already!”

…You can’t even qualify for a library card.

…You get Christmas cards from the state lottery.

…You just know you have money left in the checking account because you still have checks left.

…You still think that “interest only” mortgage was a good deal.

…You make $40,000 a year and drive a $50,000 car.

…You are planning a heist at the local food bank.

…quarters are like gold.

…You’re “being your own dentist” using a bottle of whiskey and a Dremel tool.

…If you are still sending in car payments and your car has over 200,000 miles on it.

…You are only paying the minimum payment on your credit cards every month.

…If you are using credit cards to finance your life.

… You give your wife flowers for your anniversary, fresh from the cemetery.

…You were escorted out of the KFC because you were licking other people’s fingers.

…You make a trip to the pawn shop to visit all your stuff

.…You tell your kids “it’s not that moldy”.

…You use all of your income tax refund and it doesn’t even make a dent in your debt.

…You use your income tax refund to incur more debt (car payment, boat payment, etc.)

…You ate your cheerios with water this morning.

…You let the electric company cut your service off because you are “going green”.

…If your tires are balder than your grandfather

.…If you’re reusing your coffee grounds.

…the guy at the check cashing store knows you by name.

…You wish you had a fancy wardrobe like Larry the Cable guy.

…You’ve spent so much on clothes that Lady GaGa is envious.

…You send in the minimum payment on the credit card that you used to pay the minimum payment on the other credit card.

…If you took out a 50 year mortgage because “the payment is lower”.

…if you have seriously thought about selling the kids…. or at least renting them out.

…If you have three closets full of clothes and “nothing to wear”.

…If you find yourself Googling “recipes for roadkill”.

…If you are brewing your own coffee and putting it in a gently used Starbucks cup complete with cardboard sleeve.

…You’re separating the two ply toilet paper.

…You hit a deer on the way home from work and now you know what you’re fixing for dinner (it’s legal here in Tennessee!)

 

Ok, I know there are more great “You Know You’re Broke If…” ideas out there just waiting to see the light of day.

Leave a comment and tell me your favorite ways to know you’re broke!

About Dr. Jason Cabler

17 Responses to ““You Know You’re Broke If… “- 50 Ways to Know if You’re Light in the Wallet”

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  1. “tires balder than your grandfather”…lol. Great post! Made me feel better in some ways, and then in others I was like “that’s totally me!” :)

  2. Yeah, I thought I’d throw in a few with a little “truth” in them to make the reader think about their own situation.
    Thanks for the comment!

  3. You tell your kids “it’s not that moldy”- Lol! I’ve used this before. :) It’s usually because I am too cheap to throw whatever it is out. Great list!

  4. I LOVED “Your bologna has no first name.” Hilarious!

  5. Thanks guys, doesn’t anybody have any of their own they’d like to add? I know some of you creative people out there could come up with something good!

  6. Travis says:

    You know you’re broke when…….the panhandler on the corner gave YOU money!

    LOL…..great mixture of wisdom and humor, Jason!

  7. Love that one, thanks Travis!

  8. Pauline says:

    You know you’re broke if you are blogging outside McD’s because you can’t afford the $1 drink to get free wifi.

  9. J. Money says:

    Hahaha.. These are GREAT! Love ‘em :) And totally linking back to this in my round up.

  10. Agatha says:

    Hey I separate 2 ply toilet paper because I’m an environmental geek! So I must dispute that one. All the rest are hilariously true

  11. Ok, you’re doing it for a different reason than being broke, so that one doesn’t apply to you.

    Thanks for the comment!

  12. Tony says:

    You know you’re broke, if you end up here reading this blog on a weekend..!! hahahaha Great post Dr. Jason

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