Do you require a gift from someone to be brand new? This is something I have wondered for a while now and it seems like the perfect time to discuss it. With Christmas happening in two stress-filled days, a lot of people are busting their budgets, in hopes of satisfying the person they are buying gifts for. I have to admit, I really hate choosing a gift for someone. It’s a lot of pressure to try and get the perfect gift for someone, only to wonder if they even liked it. (Consider for a second the rush of after Christmas faces shopping, I mean returning gifts every single year.)
Is that worth going into debt for?
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of folks out there that are not concerned with what they get, but would they feel the same way if their gift was used? As the happy husband of a woman who knows her way around any yard sale or goodwill, I can vouch for the types of quality items that can be found for so much cheaper at those places.
This post comes to you because I know people who would never see getting a used gift as appropriate. Heck, I know people who wouldn’t EVER be caught dead even shopping in a Goodwill. If that is you, I must say it is your loss. I extremely disagree with that mindset, and here are the two biggest questions I have.
Is society producing a bunch of spoiled, selfish brats that have to have top of the line, at someone else’s expense?
Some may view my use of the word selfish as harsh but could it not be considered selfish to only expect new items to be wrapped under the Christmas tree? Couldn’t the person buying those gifts afford to give a little more if that brand new xbox360 could have been purchased used or refurbished? I wouldn’t mind getting a used PS3 for Christmas, and it would have saved someone money in the process. “I didn’t have a PS3 before I opened my gift, but now I do” what’s there to complain about? Is it the missing smell of fresh plastic and those ridiculously irritating twisty-ties that seem to have recently morphed into something needing a screwdriver to open?
My point here is this. I think we unknowingly cause stress for our family members each Christmas by not disclosing that we accept the thought more than the price of something, OR simply expressing to those that you love that buying used is perfectly acceptable.
Does something that may have lost value monetarily necessarily lose value?
So let me get this straight. If I need or even want an item, like say a hammer—wouldn’t a slightly used hammer that still seems pretty solid work just fine? Wouldn’t I be able to drive in a nail just as good with that hammer as I would with a brand new hammer?
If you did not have a PS3 but received a used one for Christmas, wouldn’t you still be able to enjoy it? Maybe for not as long but wouldn’t you still benefit from it nonetheless? Even if it only lasts 6 months, that’s 6 months that you did not have to spend hundreds of dollars to buy one yourself. Doesn’t that have value?
What about books? I have compiled most of my reading material by buying books for a dollar. Let me tell you…they read exactly the same. I learn just as much from a used book than I would from a new one.
We even run across many items that still have price tags on them. Someone would never know, except for the likely wear and tear a box receives over time, that it was bought at a thrift store. For the record I do draw a line. ABSOLUTELY NO UNDERGARMENTS! LOL (Not Kidding) Underwear is pretty darn cheap, and really worth buying new if you ask me. 🙂 So don’t go trying to fill someone’s stocking with even barely used underwear. Haha!
Final Thoughts
Now I may see this issue completely different than most people but I am looking at it through a different lens. I am seeing a society that has no savings, lots and lots of debt, and 70% of which, whom currently live paycheck to paycheck. I see lots people admittedly spending over $1,000 on Christmas while their financial situation worsens. That to me does not make any sense. As you know I believe in a debt free Christmas as well as a debt free life.
I hope you are having a debt free Christmas this year!
I understand giving pretty well, but I can honestly say that joy cannot truly exist, with the destruction of financial security being the end result of that act of kindness. Have we become a society that sees love by the gifts we receive? If we have then we have missed the entire point of Christmas in the first place.
Last but certainly not least, what about the people who do not have very much but would love to buy you a gift. Maybe they don’t because they are afraid of what you would think of them for being so frugal and cost effective.
I want a different kind of Christmas than the one that is so mainstream.
P.S. I did not receive a used PS3 for Christmas, my wife and I try to use the money we would use for each other, to buy for someone else. It will not always be that way but I can promise you that we both know that the gifts we receive from each other do not define our love for one another. If that is the only thing we learn from this sacrifice it would be completely worth it.
With that said I would totally take a used PS3 if there are any givers out there. 😉 Totally kidding, but yes I would play that used PS3 until the buttons fell off, and kicking it didn’t work anymore. (Anyone remember the first Nintendo?)
Would you think poorly of someone if they got you a used gift? Are you terrified of being seen in a Goodwill? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
I love shopping for items at thrift stores and estate sales. I find treasures. All the time that make great gifts. My sister found some ceramic figurines at her house that were.made by our mother when she was a little girl. She divided them between my other sister and I for our birthdays. She didn’t spend a dime but the gifts were priceless to us .
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Hey Brad,
It’s the thought that counts, right? :-). I’m not really big on receiving gifts. I’d rather you give that money to a more worthy cause. I’ve never received a used gift, so I’m not sure if I’d be offended by getting it. I guess it would depend upon the condition of the item.
I wouldn’t care about getting a used gift. Heck, I may not even REALIZE it was used unless it was something like an unwrapped DVD. But even if I knew, it wouldn’t make a difference. I LOVE the idea of people buying used gifts. It would most likely mean you’d get MORE gifts because they’d save the money they would have used to buy an item new! Plus, it’s saving them money. I cannot stand the idea of someone going into debt or spending money they don’t have on a gift for me.
D almost bought his brother a used Nintendo DS, under the rationale that he could have bought him games AND the DS had be bought used. I encouraged him, but he decided against it because he didn’t know how his brother would react.
I think that’s my biggest concern as well. A gift is a gift. I’d assume most people wouldn’t care, but I can’t be sure. And that uncertainty about how they’ll view my gift keeps me from shopping used. I just continue shopping used for myself!
I’m interested in seeing the responses this post gets.
Thanks for the thought provoking article. We quit giving gifts to our unappreciative, ungrateful family a long time ago. We now only buy for “the littles” and we are much happier. No more hurt feelings and disappointment on our part. Most of the time we weren’t even told “thank you”….sad commentary on gift giving.
Red – I agree. If the gift is in good enough condition to be of value to me then I do not really mind too much. I do prefer to pick out my own used clothes however so I would rather not get used clothes as a gift. But if I wanted a bike, a tool, an xbox, dvd player, or anything thing like that I would be completely happy with it.
Patrenia – I must say I am not big on receiving gifts either, but I guess that is not ALWAYS the case—like you, I would prefer the money be spent on the children or someone else.
Jim – Thrift store items can be of good quality. I certainly do not buy washed out or dingy clothes but if it is close to new, I’m all for it. The problem for me is that I have a REALLY hard time spending money on clothes. It seems like such a waste of resources however I do acknowledge that clothes are needed. LOL
Oregonsun – I must say the name Oregonsun is a bit ironic being that it is hardly ever sunny there. I lived in Eugene for almost 6 months and hardly saw the sun. haha Beautiful state though!
Jeff – Discernment is a must Jeff! Some things are just no good used, in fact most of what we see in a thrift store is junk, but it’s the gems that we find that make the difference. Honestly we prefer yard sales over thrift stores but we make some good extra money by buying stuff at thrift stores so the stuff there must be useful to someone. 🙂
Bucksome – Ewwww! LOL That’s what I say about used undergarments mostly. Read my response to Jeff.
Patty – Patty you have captured the point I was trying to make. You can save lots of money and give nice, QUALITY gifts even though something is used. Used games, tools, certain appliances, electronics, books, and movies do not have to be new to be enjoyed, but to some they do have to be new to be appreciated—and that’s sad. 😀
I bought a tie at a thrift store once for $2.95. I got more compliments on that tie than all my other ties, average price $25, combined. There is no more useless expenditure in life, than a $25 (or higher) noose to wear around your neck, so buy someone else’s noose and save a ton of money.
As far as gifts go, I quilt and so I put my time, energy and money into making something very special for the people I care about. Nothing says love quite like a beautiful blanket to keep someone you care about warm.
Instead of buying a gift card for someone, consider these gift certificates:
An evening of babysitting
One of your special desserts
Taking over the carpool for a week
A weeks worth of meals for an expectant mother
A car wash
Cooking lessons
and lots and lots of other things you can do for someone else.
I’m certainly a fan of living debt-free and I wouldn’t mind giving or receiving certain used gifts, but I think you have to use some discernment.
For example, we actually gave my mother a used washer and dryer set for Christmas this year. She just moved from an apartment where the washer and dryer were provided. Her new apartment just has hookups. We got her a great set at 75% off retail. She was thrilled! This was certainly a case where giving used didn’t matter and of her being thankful for having versus doing without.
However, I think you have to evaluate each situation and decide what is appropriate. Also, you have to be careful buying used. Sometimes, you get a lemon and wind up spending just as much or more on repairs compared to buying new. Great article!
My first thought was EWWW! But then I realized I’ve given and received used gifts but they were gifts with sentimental value such as a canister set that belonged to my great-grandmother.
I think the answer is that it depends on the gift and emotion attached.
I for one believe in NOT going into debt just to purchase Christmas Gifts. And my children know this as well. I have purchased a few items such as video games on ebay this year for gifts for my children. I also do not feel obligated to rush out and buy for someone just because they purchased me a gift. Especially if I don’t have the money.
Throughout the year I will spend the time looking for used bargains, especially on books. The library and I can not keep enough books in front of my children.
Wishing you and your family the happiest of holidays (and may they always be debt free.)
Tracy – I bet you find some very nice stuff at yard sales and estate sales too. We love them the most! Yard sales are often cheaper than thrift stores, and usually have better quality.
LOL….the name is only wishful thinking….for 2 days now we have seen nothing but fog. Aaaaarrrrgggh!
I know that’s the truth! I used to work for Schwans, (you know the big yellow trucks with ice cream and steaks etc?) and had to drive to Salem and had routes in Sweet Home and Lebanon. The fog can get REALLY thick.
I did absolutely love the greenery and beautiful covered bridges, lakes and streams. It was gorgeous! I remember all of the rain—every day of it. lol Even when it wasn’t raining it was cloudy and dark. In all fairness to Oregon though I was not there in the summer, which is when it is great!
I’ll never forget driving up (I-5?) and crossing the California/Oregon border. Lake Shasta (I think that’s what it is called) was so beautiful!
I wished I would have had a chance to go hiking in Oregon! 😀
I have bought presents before at garage sales but if it’s not for kids, I’m a little worried how the person would feel if they knew. I think it’s a great idea – maybe I’ll bring it up at the next family Christmas.
Interesting post, made me think. I wouldn’t mind some used gifts, like books or movies or decor. I’m not a fan of used clothing though.. My second thought was that my family takes it very easy on the gift giving. We give gifts to my parents and my parents gift us, but my siblings and I have decided not to exchange, and that applies for the nieces and nephews also. We also don’t exchange with friends. That eliminates a lot of the stress of deciding what to buy and finding room in the budget.
I am not above yard sales. One of the gifts I bought my son this year was from a yard sale. You can bet there are folks who only buy “new.” What a price they pay!
Good post.
For several years I have “forgiven the debt” well say $50,of one of my children, as he perpetually owes me money. This year as he has made little attempt to pay back the small amount I didn’t even do that. He has finally got the idea to snowball debt but is adding the savings from the paid off debt to the largest amount. I think I will send him this article on snowballing.