Book Review & Giveaway: Give Me Get Me Buy Me

Give me, get me, buy me! Does that sound like someone you know? It sounds like a lot of people these days which is why this book is so perfect for today’s day and age. The entitlement mindset has to be one of the most self destructive mindsets one could adopt for themselves, yet many do.

Today I am reviewing a book written by Donna Corwin and it is titled, Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me – Preventing or Reversing Entitlement in Your Child’s Attitude. Talk about stopping something before it starts, now’s the perfect time to turn things around.

I will also be giving away two free copies of this book.

I was given a copy myself to read for the purposes of reviewing it with you. I hope this review is helpful in giving you yet another great resource to help make your life, and those around you a little easier.

To give you the full impact of what this book is dealing with here is a paragraph from the introduction. I just LOVE IT!

“Entitled children are created, not born. I became a Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me parent early on. Not wanting to deprive my princess of anything, I indulged her until she started to get used to the good life. In fact, I trained her so well that, like Pavlov’s dog, when we entered a shopping mall, she didn’t start to salivate or bark, but she did whine incessantly. If I passed a shop without buying her something, passed the food court without getting her a cookie (even before dinner), or didn’t run around like a crazy person to find her the same super, strappy, pink flip-flops that all of her friends had, she would torture me until  I gave in. But secretly, I wanted to indulge her demands. I wanted her to be happy, to love her mommy who gave her everything. I was slowly creating a live, full-blown entitled beast-a child whose voracious appetite for things, for getting her own way, and for lack of boundaries was out-of-control. I knew that something was terribly wrong but was stuck in the narcissistic pattern of giving in to her “give me, get me, buy me” demands.”

If I am out searching for a new book to read, I always read a few pages to see if I think I will like it. This introduction is exactly what I like to see. It gets right to the point, and the best part, for me anyway, is that the author injects herself into the book immediately. I love it when I can relate to an author. It always makes for a great read!

Is This Book For You?

On page 4 Donna Corwin answers that right away. She points out that if your child suffers from at least 5 out of the 10 characteristics listed below, then you probably have an entitled child on your hands. After reading this list I was very interested in finishing it. I read the book very fast because it’s one of those books you can’t put down.

  • Protests and wants his own way.
  • Doesn’t respond to “no” or “stop.”
  • Doesn’t follow rules.
  • Doesn’t know the difference between needs and wishes.
  • Whines or throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way or you say no.
  • Complains constantly.
  • Makes unfair or excessive demands: “Give me, Get me, buy me!”
  • Can be bossy or selfish.
  • Often doesn’t share.

Ummm…this book is about entitled children right? I started to wonder. It sure sounds like a lot of adults I know. Sadly, I realized that I was most of those for most of my twenties. Yeah, it took me a while to grow up and kick my sense of entitlement. Those 10 characteristics can be found in most of our bad financial decisions. This book is not just for the benefit of your children. You probably need it just the same, even if your case of entitlement happens to be mild compared to some. 😀

She goes on to talk about the seven traps that lead to entitlement. “We all want everything for our children. But parents who do not set rules or limits will create children who cannot get satisfied.” If you want to know the seven traps to avoid you must pick up this book. It is worth it.

What You’ll Learn

You will learn practical and easy ways to reverse the entitlement mindset, or as Donna puts it, you’ll learn how to “unspoil” your kids. One of my favorite chapters was called The Human ATM. This chapter is priceless, especially since money is the cause of so much stress in life. When our kids want something it is so easy to give in and say yes, although we should be saying no. We think we are making our kids happy but what we are doing is causing them to attach happiness to stuff. I am certainly guilty of giving in when I shouldn’t, and this book helped me see the importance of changing that habit now.

Teaching Your Children About Money

Donna challenges you to teach your children about money but suggests that you evaluate your own relationship with it first.

She suggests that you ask these questions:

  • Would you be happy without a lot of money?
  • Does money make a person powerful?
  • Do your children have to have the best of everything in order for you to be happy?
  • Would you rather pay the gas and electric bill, or buy your children the new electronics game he has been begging for?
  • Are you heavily in debt?
  • Do you think you deserve to be rich?
  • Can a person be successful without being rich?

She does admit there are no right or wrong answers, but your answers do “define your monetary values.” We need to teach our children about money so that they do not end up struggling the way we have with money. We want whats best for our children but fail to realize how important it is to raise financially responsible children. This is essential in shaping our children and their character. Teaching your children the word no will go along way in teaching them the value of money.

Conclusion

If you were to ask most people if they enjoyed being around spoiled children they would almost always say no. I don’t like spoiled children. I will admit though that my son does qualify on some level even though I have done my best not to spoil him. This book gave me the answers I needed to help me change those characteristics that are lacking.

If you look around at society you can definitely see a sense of entitlement that is much greater than in years past. I personally think that credit cards have done a lot of damage to change our mindset, but if I were to pick one major reason for entitled children it would be the parents. Parents are the biggest influence on how their children act and behave in life. Although we can’t be certain that our great parenting will necessarily avoid it, we can do our best to instill the values and characteristics necessary to give them a strong foundation to work from.

I will definitely be more aware of my need to say the word no when out with my kids. I’m just a big ole’ sucker, and that’s okay sometimes, but we need to get control of this growing problem now before society gets even worse. Our children are our future and if they are all spoiled, then who will do the hard work?

I highly recommend this book for anyone with kids or planning to have kids one day. I must add that even if you don’t have kids or plan to have them, you might still learn a little about yourself from this read. Go check it out!

To Win A Copy of This Book

To become eligible to win this book, please leave a comment below. In your comment explain why this book would be helpful to you. Do you have entitled children?

If you share this post on Twitter I will enter your name an additional 5 times. (be sure to enter @enemyofdebt so I see your tweet.)

Enter by Monday at midnight (March 29th, 2010)

Good luck!

About Brad Chaffee

17 Responses to “Book Review & Giveaway: Give Me Get Me Buy Me”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Judy Dudley says:

    Yes, please enter my name to win! (I also shared this on Twitter!)

  2. ChristopherFM says:

    I have neices and nephews!

  3. Peter says:

    We don’t have any children yet, unless you count our unborn child. 🙂 We’re hoping to raise a child that doesn’t have an entitlement attitude, but I have a feeling in today’s society it’s gonna be tough. Everyone wants something for nothing, and wants others to pay for it. *sigh. tweeted the contest!

  4. Donna says:

    Brad,

    I would love to give this book to my son. He and his wife make very good money. That being said they are already buying too much for their kids (age 1 and 2)!!!!!! I am afraid they will end up with entitled attitudes within the next year. I talk about being debt free. They for the most part are except the house and one car, but I see trouble on the horizon. I love my daughter-in-law but she was spoiled by her dad. I fear for these parents. I can only say so much. So, I would LOVE to gift this book to them.

    Also, thanks for the Dave Ramsey DVD. I can’t wait to get it. I will then pass it on to my son.

  5. maria perez says:

    I do daycare and many parents are raising their kids to be this way but are different with me. So I would read it and try to help parents or loan it out.

  6. Michelle quinnmd@telus.net says:

    We are new parents to twins and I do not want them to be this way!

  7. Julie says:

    I have 2 young boys ages 8 & 6. They definitely have the entitlement mindset. (Especially the oldest.) This book will help me deal with this problem. It has been especially hard, since, before I was trying to get out of debt it would be “sure honey” and then fork over a credit card. Now , since trying to become debt free, my kids are hearing a lot more “no’s”. Thanks for this website and the giveaway.
    BTW -Since I’ve been keeping up with your emails and website, I’ve paid of 1 credit card, a medical bill, and 1 more debt! Thanks for the encouragement!

  8. Lisa Munley says:

    Hi Brad, great review. I think it’s so smart to approach this kind of thing when kids are very young, to nip it in the bud. Thanks so much for the time you spent reading/reviewing this book. We really appreciate it!

  9. ctreit says:

    I have four children but neither one of them is very spoiled. I would still like to read the book because I think you make a good point when you tell your readers, “you probably need it just the same.” I would like to use the book to check up on myself.

  10. Derek Clark says:

    Great review. I don’t have kids yet but I have known enough that fit the profile to know I don’t want me kids to be anything like that. I’ll work very to make sure they turn out differently than that. If I don’t win it I’ll have to look this up in a few years 🙂 Tweeted!

  11. Ernest S. says:

    Awesome review. No kids for me yet, but I do have a niece and nephew that are somewhat entitled. This would be a great read for myself and their parents.

  12. gina lang says:

    Great review. i would love the book, we are deep in step 2 of dave ramsey program and my kids dont get it! they are 8,6 and 3 but i feel all i ever say is we didnt budget for that or u dont need that, maybe i could find another approach so i dont sound like a parrot!

    thanks for your newsletter, it has been a great resource.
    gina

  13. Casey says:

    I need this book for my entire family!!! Definitely my husband and I could use it, but more importantly, my grown children with their families. Two of my children have fallen hard into the “entitlement” mentality. Thanks for bringing this book to my attention. I’d love to win the giveaway!

  14. Money Momma says:

    So weird, my hubby and I were talking about this last night. Our son is extremely spoiled and it is all by my doing. I have been working on reforming myself in order to reform him. It has been a journey for both of us but since I want to get out of debt I have put my foot down many times. I feel that my skills on how to deal with son effectly need some work and this book just might be what I am looking for.

  15. Martha says:

    I have one son that I try to teach about needs and wants. I think this book will help me with my husband – he thinks all his wants are needs.

  16. Angie says:

    I have a 5 and a 6 year old. Both of them are borderline on this subject, but we are working hard to teach them how to handle money well and not expect “stuff” all the time. I’d love to have another resource to help me out with ideas. Thanks for the review (and hopefully, the book!)

  17. Forest says:

    That is a hell of an opener! I know a lot of kids like this but don’t have any of my own kids….

    Not going to enter the comp as I think a parent will find it more useful but will tweet it when I get a chance.

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