Debt is Not the Answer

A few weeks ago on my site I talked about my husband’s estimated dental bill. We had saved up for a year to get ready for this upcoming bill. However the estimated bill was quite more than I expected. It was more than my wildest dreams. $33,000.

Needless to say that is more than we can afford right now. Maybe ever.

I was talking to someone who will remain nameless about this situation. I was explaining how that’s just a crazy amount of money and that there’s no way we can possibly afford that.

I was saying that we are going to spend $3,000 this year and then see where we stand. How we can only do what we can do. I mean, really what else can be done? We are going to have to just do it little by little over time. He might have to go without getting every single thing that needs to be done. I hate it, but I mean what else can we do except our best?

“Can’t you take out a loan?” they said. I was so shocked! Especially since this person knows me very well. Me? A loan? I didn’t know what to say?

“uh… umm… sigh… I guess?” I replied. And it’s true, I guess I could take out a loan but how would that help? If I can’t afford it now what makes me think I could afford to pay back a loan with interest? What I need to do is find a way to make it cheaper and a loan will just make it more expensive. I already can’t afford it!

On one hand I was surprised that they suggested that to me, but on the other hand I wasn’t. This person loves debt. Taking out a loan is a common solution for this person. As long as they can make the payment then all is ok. But honestly, I think that belief is starting to crash in around them. They have started to complain about money quite a bit to me. Something they NEVER did before. This person would tell me how much money they made and the fancy trips they went on. Big numbers were always thrown around. And that’s fine. I was happy for them. They seemed happy and I didn’t really realize that debt was financing much of it. I knew they made a lot so a fancy trip or two wasn’t totally out of line. It’s not my business how they pay for things so I didn’t give it much thought.

But lately I hear more complaining than bragging. I know they are facing some tough choices right now. I don’t know if they will ever admit to themselves or anyone else that it’s their debt loving ways that have caused these changes to come about. I know their income is very good, but the debt payments have piled up so high that they are drowning. So when they asked me “Can’t you take out a loan?” I wanted to scream “That’s not a solution! Don’t you see that all your loans is what got you into the situation you’re in?”

But I guess they don’t see it.

Do you know anyone who is blind to their debt problems? Or is this just a misery loves company thing?

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19 Responses to “Debt is Not the Answer”

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  1. Eric Michiels says:

    Hi Ashley, I just read your post and I too believe that you should not get into debt for the treatmeant.
    Have you ever considered going to another country to do the work of your husbands teeth?
    I am from El Salvador and there are some good dentist in El Salvador and Costa Rica.
    I mean traveling will cost you some money but the treatmeant will be MUCH less than in the USA and very good.
    If you do consider it, I could put you in contact with two dentist in El Salvador (by mail) and you can ask them for a qoute. I believe just going to another country to do a medical treatment is not the most recommended, but if you get to know the people beforehand and you have enough information, it might be worth considering it.
    They are respected people with degrees from Italy and the US.
    Anyway, just want to give you that tip.
    Let me know if you think about it and would like to get in touch with them.
    Blessings,

    Eric

    • I did think of going to another country briefly. I have family in Belarus and some of our family members have gone over there to get their teeth done. But that’s not for us. At the end of this year he will be out of pain and all the teeth he has will be fixed and healthy. Then we will have to start putting back the teeth he’s had removed. That will just have to come slowly and over time.

      Thanks for your suggestion though, and your offer to help. That’s very nice.

  2. DebtTips says:

    Blind to debt? I would guess that most people aren’t blind to debt’s impact, just a little shortsighted. If your husband really needs the dental work, and you don’t have the cash, then why not borrow or get a loan? Sure, debt is not a good answer, but neither is living with dental problems. Life is too short to be overfocused on money…

    • Brad Chaffee says:

      This is one of those things I would save up for before I ever considered going into debt for. I don’t think it’s being over-focused on money at all. That way of thinking sounds like a good justification to go into all kinds of debt. In fact, it’s mindsets like that, that has encouraged people to go into as much debt as they have. “Life is too short, you only live once” kind of thing. The point is that debt IS NOT the answer! There are other solutions to almost any problem we could possibly face. Most often it just requires us to think outside of the box instead of take the easy way out. I would sell my second car, or throw a monster yard sale or get a part time job before I would ever accept debt as the answer.

      Great post Ashley! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Dena says:

    I was just talking about this TO the people who need to hear it.They have filed bankruptcy four times that they will admit to.They never stop to think it’s a vicious cycle.They just keep adding more and more onto their credit cards till they are maxed out.It’s never their fault.They blame the credit card companies for upping their limit.It’s no use talking to them.They only hear what they want to hear.

    • Brad Chaffee says:

      That’s a shame! I could never live with myself if I filed bankruptcy multiple times based on my own stupidity with money. When it gets to that point you have to wonder if it’s purposeful. I’ve known people who thought it was perfectly okay to run up a bunch of debt because they knew they weren’t going to pay it back. That is criminal, and the people who do it should be in jail. It is disgusting! Convenient ignorance doesn’t change or excuse such behavior in my opinion.

  4. Eric says:

    Ashley,

    Love the title of this blog. Very true!

    You are right when you share the story about your friend who has inflated his lifestyle using debt. As you said, now he can’t seem to get ahead, because of interest payments and past choices. I hope more people understand that solving problems using debt is more costly.

    Keep up the good work,
    Eric

    • Brad Chaffee says:

      Great comment Eric. I’m not sure people are exactly unaware that it is more costly. What they do is shove all that in the back of their mind so they can live for the “now” because that’s how they can keep on living the life they couldn’t afford if they didn’t. It’s kind of like when someone goes to a rental store to get furniture. They know they’ll be paying roughly twice the cost of the item but renting it week after week means they can have it now, so they still do it. Deep down people know that using credit cards will eventually catch up to them, but what do they do? They continue to use them because the consequences are distant and unrealized. This is a great topic for a blog post BTW! Thanks for the great comment Eric and welcome to Enemy of Debt!

  5. Laura says:

    You could go to a dental school. You would ave several tenured dentists overlooking the work. And you could look into welfare.

  6. My wife and I have some friends that are always upgrading to the next big thing, always remodeling something, and joke about how much their charging up. They know our debt situation, but they don’t seem to be connecting the dots. I worry about them…..

    • Brad Chaffee says:

      I have friends and family that I worry about constantly. I have come to the conclusion that there’s nothing I can do short of annoying them. I have found that doesn’t work. Even if the conversation goes well, most of it goes in one ear and out the other. The best way we can teach people is to be the example and show them what being debt free is like. Still some won’t get it.

      Keep doing your thing Travis! You are what it’s all about my friend! Most people in your situation go straight for bankruptcy. I almost did with much less debt, that was, until I talked with a few people who made me see why bankruptcy was not the best choice. I ultimately came to the conclusion and still hold this stance mightily, that when you spend someone else’s money, even if there’s a legal way out, your obligation to pay back what you spent never goes away. Maybe legally, but never morally.

      I’ll admit some bankruptcy’s are forced because of the creditors but very few people ever see that extreme scenario. Most just give up before they ever even look into their options. I admire you brother! ๐Ÿ˜€

      • KP says:

        I would like to read why bankruptcy is not the best choice. Is there a link to an article? I am currently struggling with that decision and something is telling me that it is not the answer for me. I do not know if it is the moral issue or something else.

        I am also struggling with the fact that I want to get out of debt but I do not even have enough income to meet current living expenses. I live from paycheck to paycheck. This is due to past choices and bad habits. Now I have put myself in a position where all my loan payments and the garnishments leave me with less than I need to survive. Something needs to change. It is a vicious vicious cycle, but I do not know how I can start.

        One idea I have had is to get another income and apply that to the debt but that has not been enough. It just becomes part of the living expenses. My time for making more money is limited because I do value my full time job and my family. I have been reading these articles for years, but only now starting to understand the message.

  7. I would suggest two things for the dental work. The first would be to talk to the dentist/surgeon about what must be done now and what can be postponed. I would ask him/her how to lower the cost of that bill to something more manageable.

    Secondly, I would do like Laura said and contact a local university. Their dental clinic may be able to perform the work at a much reduced amount.

  8. Oopps, I got so excited to see “You Rock” that I clicked it before I was finished.

    As I was writing that I was thinking about arranging a payment plan with the dental office. But I suppose that is debt as well, although far better than a loan.

    Good luck with it!

  9. Jessica says:

    Oopps, I got so excited to see “You Rock” that I clicked it before I was finished.

    As I was writing that I was thinking about arranging a payment plan with the dental office. But I suppose that is debt as well, although far better than a loan.

    Good luck with it!

  10. Leisa Crossley says:

    I have relatives who bought a block of land and built their house in the same year I bought my 2 bedroom unit 17 yrs ago. They are now selling their place and renting again to relieve the financial pressure of mortgage payments. Why? They kept borrowing against the equity of their home to finance the pool, holidays away, new cars etc. Meanwhile I never touched my equity and now currently enjoy living in my home with low mortgage payments and plenty of time to enjoy the things I do. Do I think they have learnt their lesson – no absolutely not and believe in the future I will hear they are yet in again in another financial hole of their own making.

    • Brad Chaffee says:

      You just described the trap and reality of what most people fall into regarding debt. There’s only so long a person can sustain such a lifestyle built on debt. Sadly for most people it takes many many more times of completing this cycle for they realize the fault of their ways, but even more sad, is the fact that some people go an entire lifetime without ever considering that the debt in their life is responsible for their problems.

  11. Clair Schwan says:

    It’s not misery loves company as much as it’s cruising down the river of Denial. Back to your financial anomaly.

    I’m thinking that $33,000 can buy a crown on every tooth in your husband’s head, provided he’s had his wisdom teeth extracted. There has to be an alternative to nearly a third of $100,000 for his choppers. I plead ignorance to the details, because none were provided, but it sure seems like someone is trying to skin somebody else. My fingers are twitching and red flags are waving.

  12. Anna says:

    Wow! That is a lot of money for dental work! Hopefully you will figure out a solution that will cost quite a bit less. I think looking into a dental school option is a good idea. My mother in law did that to replace a crown and it cost about half of the original price. The only drawback is that you might have to wait a while to get the procedures done.

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