Burning money is easy with an "easy come, easy go" attitude...
Here at Enemy of Debt we focus on the psychological aspects of personal finance, especially when it comes to staying out of debt and getting out of debt. In light of that, I thought a series on financial-related adages might be fun as well as insightful. We hear these sayings quite often, but many of us don’t stop to think about what they really mean.
This is where I’d like to help make a difference. If we can absorb the meaning behind some of the adages, we’ll be better prepared to utilize the wealth of knowledge and experience wrapped up in each one. Let’s give it a try.
Today, I’m focusing on “easy come, easy go.” It’s become a well worn adage, but the meaning behind the phrase isn’t well understood. So, let’s take a good look at it to see what we might learn. Perhaps we’ll walk away with a better appreciation of the powerful message it offers, if only we’ll take a moment to see the lessons in action. Quite often, it’s a story that helps accentuate the lessons, and a true story, like that which follows, is best for cementing the lessons in place.
Our story starts with Brent, a friend of mine who married Evelyn after he had worked hard for many years to accumulate considerable wealth. He owned several pieces of real estate and had hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank. Brent accumulated this wealth through hard work, good decision-making, and a desire to lift himself above others who were often focused on day-to-day pleasures instead of long-term success.
Brent’s wife Evelyn is the individual in this story who will help us learn what “easy come, easy go” means. She was the type of person who never had much, but was always trying to buy happiness with whatever financial means she had; a new car, a nice meal, fancy clothes, and other superficial “happiness salves” that never seemed to last. Clearly, she didn’t understand need versus want. Now, with her husband’s considerable wealth, there was no limit to the amount of happiness she could purchase for herself in the form of “wants.”
Perhaps she could sustain happiness through more frequent and more expensive purchases. Maybe then, it would take root and stay.
It started out slowly at first, and then became more reckless in nature. After all, for a woman who never really had much, her husband’s life-long accumulation of wealth seemed nearly endless. It didn’t take long before caution was cast to the wind. Brent continued to work hard in his career, so family income was much higher than most. It was a perfect situation for Evelyn. It was easy to spend money because there was plenty of it, and Brent was always making more.
Sparing much of the details, suffice to say that the story of Brent and Evelyn ended on a sour note. They divorced because of her spending addiction – her need to feed the addiction was much more important to her than any desire for a good relationship and financial security. Clearly she was an incurable spendaholic. Brent realized that he was worthy of a much more responsible life partner, so he took the necessary steps to rid himself of this human tar baby that was sucking the financial life out of him.
So, let’s see what we can learn from the sad story of Brent and Evelyn when it comes to the phrase “easy come, easy go.” If I can take a break from story telling and shift into a more analytical mode, perhaps we can sort this out for better understanding. There are two parts to the phrase:
- easy come
- easy go
The “come” part of the expression refers to what comes our way, whether we earn it, find it, win it, or it’s something that we’re given. The “go” part refers to how it leaves us through spending, loss, irresponsible behavior, or perhaps even simply giving it away.
The key for me in all of this is the common word “easy” as this is the heart of the matter. When we think of “easy” we understand that it refers to something that isn’t difficult nor challenging – it’s not hard work at all – it’s easy! That’s where the wisdom of this adage shines through so clearly.
We equate difficulty with value, and since Evelyn didn’t work hard for the wealth she was spending, she didn’t appreciate the value represented by the money. It came to her easily, and she blew it simply because she didn’t appreciate how much effort went into earning it in the first place.
Imagine how much value Evelyn would have assigned to the money had she been the one who had earned it, saved it, invested it, and protected it for all those years. I am reminded of a Joni Mitchell song, “…you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.” Well, with an easy come, easy go mindset, that’s exactly how it works, you don’t know what you have until you no longer have it – all because you didn’t earn it and therefore, you don’t have an appreciation for its value.
If I can jump back into the Brent and Evelyn story for just a moment, I think you’ll appreciate when the “light finally comes on” for Evelyn. As the sun sets on our unhappy couple, Evelyn stands in tears realizing that with all the money she wasted, she could have had a good provider, a nice home that was completely paid for, everything else a reasonable person could possibly desire, and plenty of money in the bank – building more wealth all by itself. It would have been a life filled with financial freedom as well as financial security. Instead, because she never appreciated the value of the money that was so freely available, she ended up with nothing, and a bleak future ahead, all by herself.
She had a glimpse of the true meaning of “easy come, easy go” all too late. And, I say “a glimpse” because it’s likely that she’ll never change her self-destructive behavior. She has a demon to feed, and it must be fed. Brent knew that, and that’s why he’s long gone.
So, when it comes to personal wealth, no matter what form it takes, be sure that those who have authority over it also have “skin in the game.” It’s the “skin” that translates to value, and it’s value that causes us to appreciate what we have. That appreciation causes us to stay focused on maintaining our financial position, preserving the advantages we’ve created for ourselves, and enhancing our financial well-being when we have the opportunity. If there is no skin in the game, then we might just fall into the mindset of easy come, easy go.
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It definitely makes sense that if you don’t work for what you have, you don’t appreciate it as much. That’s probably why so many lottery winners end up broke! I appreciate my savings and possessions much more now that I’m a single parent who had to work for them on my own.
Andrea, good point about appreciating what you have since you’ve worked for it. You can see how much effort, from a standpoint of income from employment, is contained within the things you own, so it’s much easier to understand the value of an item in terms of your hard work. So, you’re not just throwing away a $15 item, you’re throwing away so many minutes or hours of your labor.
With respect to the lottery, there likely is a bit of that “lack of appreciation” working in the minds of the winners, but I see quite often that people who win are those who were never very responsible with money to begin with. That’s the very reason they’re playing the lottery. Many of those players believe that the only way to make it big is by chance. So, having a big pile of money simply allows them to show, in a very big way, just how irresponsible they have always been.
One case in particular in California, many years ago, a woman won a modest sum of less than $20,000 and proceeded to quickly spend her after tax winnings. The only thing that she did that reflected personal responsibility was to pay back a loan she had obtained from a relative. Soon, the State of California showed up at her door to tell her that she (and her four young children) no longer qualified for public assistance because the lottery winnings had pushed her over the income threshold. Her habit of spending public assistance money on gambling encouraged by the state had came back home to bite her in a serious way. Every now and then, behavior does meet reality. Where have I heard that before?
EXCELLENT ARTICLE CLAIR!
I’d say a large percentage of people take for granted the things they have and do in fact end up losing them later on in life. By that time it is usually too late because whatever they had is gone. Sad but true.
I’ve never had much in terms of wealth in my life, and until recently have never really possessed an entrepreneurial spirit, but I can say the value I put in “stuff” was way overrated as it really didn’t do me any good in the long run. I’m now in my late 30’s and only wonder what could have been had I not spent so much of my time and money trying to chase happiness.
Thanks for the inspiring post Clair! As usual you hit it out of the park! Thanks for being a part of TEAM EOD! 😀
Great post! Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to turn your life around. I pray she can get counsel and realize she has an addiction to spending and shopping. What a sad story but I like to think she will find the light. A suggestion would be for her to find a good church and get involved in a small group with others in a similar situation or at least some that have been there. There is hope for everyone.
Jeff
http://www.debtfreesquad.com
Jeff, yes, for some people, rock bottom is the only place they recognize as a legitimate starting over point. It’s sad but true. Others just can’t seem to find bottom, no matter what happens, especially when there are so many others around them who are intent on “helping.” As individuals, if we believe that we deserve better, we’ll certainly take steps to make our lives better instead of resigning ourselves to “what’s happening to us.” In the meantime, my experience suggests that we usually get exactly what we deserve, mainly because our decisions and actions, or lack thereof, largely create our own experiences.
Certainly, we should hold out hope for everyone, but most often, when you see someone painted into a corner, they’re standing there with a large paint brush, a bucket of bright paint, and quite often a look of astonishment on their face. It’s my hope that there’s a great big plate glass mirror in the room, for it’s perhaps the only way to create awareness, and awareness is the first step to changing our behavior. We can only fix ourselves, but first we need to know in our hearts that we’re out of whack and in need of adjustment.
Great article. Sadly I know someone in my life who is going through this right now. Doubt it will ever change though. I don’t know… maybe when the money truly does run out.
Yes, my friend Brent recognized a clear change in behavior in Evelyn when she realized that the money had indeed been depleted, or nearly so, but too late is exactly that, just too late. I’m hoping that this story might inspire others to take decisive action before it’s too late in their particular situation. When a life’s fortune is squandered, it takes lots of hard work and time to rebuild it, if ever that occurs. But, when it’s recovered, you can bet the person has learned to keep an eye on the nest egg. After all, it took twice as much effort to build the same size nest egg – once on a practice run, and the next time for real.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article, as I had fun writing it. I’m just hoping that the message of “easy come, easy go” is much better understood as wisdom and not simply some old saying.