My Husband and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this Friday. To celebrate we went away this past weekend and stayed in downtown Baltimore.
Clearly we had two goals with going away
1. Go far, far away from our darling children
2. Spend quality uninterrupted time together
Originally we had big plans lined up to celebrate this particular anniversary; we had a trip to South Carolina or NYC planned and budgeted accordingly. After several discussions my husband and I agreed to not spend too much money and play it closer to home.
We settled on our two night get away and I promptly started planning.
Our first night was a huge success, we saw a comedian we really liked and hung out at a cool beer garden. It was a winning formula for the two of us, seeing a show and having a few cocktails.
But this was our 10 year anniversary and I was dead set on the two of us having the weekend of a lifetime.
My vision for this weekend included dining at as many cool restaurants as possible. Good food is kind of a hobby of mine…as in I like to eat great food as much as possible. A few weeks before our weekend away I was able to score reservations to one restaurant that was getting great buzz and I could not be more excited. This was for our second night.
Here is where things fell apart.
My husband does not share my hobby or interest in good food or restaurants. He would be just fine if we rolled up to a diner for our big dinner date night, as a fancy restaurant. In fact I think he would prefer it.
I had already dragged him to a specific place for breakfast and then another specific place for lunch.
I did not take my husband’s preference into consideration when making plans and as a result, felt let down as his lack of interest and enthusiasm grew with each new place. He felt we were spending way too much money on not quite enough food.
I was hurt that he could not push himself to try and enjoy the experience more and offended and that he thought the food was “Meh.” (Insert dagger to my heart!) This of course made me resentful of having spent the money since he did not appreciate it.
Needless to say, we wound up canceling our big dinner plans as he was officially ‘done’ by our 3 pm cocktail at yet another specialty restaurant.
I could have saved us the trouble and the money
My husband is not a stranger; I have known this man for over 13 years. His lack of excitement over great restaurants is not a new thing. He is an amazing man and does many sweet and thoughtful things for me on a routine basis. I did not need to force a restaurant gauntlet on the guy just to prove he loves me.
The reality is, I should have dialed down my expectations and made one cool reservation at one hot spot versus four.
Had I remembered who I was married to, I could have saved us both a lot of money and probably had an even better time. But that is not to say that we had a bad weekend; despite my restaurant expectations, we had a lovely time and succeeded with both of our goals.
I was also able to learn a valuable lesson. In ten more years we are going to stay home and send the kids away!