I’m Hot Because I’m Bald

What comes to mind when you think of the stereotypical, sexy, attractive male? If the covers of magazines and romance novels are any indication, it’s a tall, tan guy with washboard abs, and of course a head of thick, long flowing hair.

However, there are signs that this viewpoint is changing.

Earlier this week, my friend and fellow blogger Suzanne Cramer wrote a post asserting that financially responsible men are attractive. Well, I’ve got some news, and it’ll knock the socks off of Suzanne and other women who share her viewpoint.

Bald men are more attractive because they’re financially responsible.


Don’t believe me? Let’s compare the costs of having that thick, enviable set of locks to someone who is bald. (BTW, I prefer the term follicle challenged):

Hair cuts:

A local discount hair cut shop will run a guy with hair around $15. Even worse, with some quick research I found that you’ll lay down between $23 to $42 per visit at a salon.

On the other side of the fence, I got a clippers for Christmas about 10 years ago, and I haven’t paid for a hair cut since. I shave my head every Sunday night.


Shampoo, conditioner, and hair gel. Yikes, how much does this stuff cost a guy with hair?

If I run out of shampoo, I go rummaging through the showers in my home looking for the discarded shampoo bottles everyone else thinks are empty, and the little slivers of soap stuck to the sides of the shower soap dishes. It makes no difference to me. If I can’t find any, a $0.99 bottle of shampoo will do just fine…and it’ll last me months.

Hair coloring:

As a man with hair ages, it may begin to turn grey. A DIY box kit has a price tag of around $15 – $20. I don’t even know how much it would cost to have it done professionally.

For me? Since I shave my hair off, I won’t have to worry about this. EVER.

Are guys with hair financially responsible? I don’t think so.

I’ve got a chrome dome.

I’m a lean, mean solar powered machine.

I’m not just attractive, I’m HOT like Mexico because  I save money, I’m financially responsible, and I’m bald.

You’ll never look at the follicle challenged  the same way again.

But sorry, ladies – I’m already married.

About Travis

22 Responses to “I’m Hot Because I’m Bald”

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  1. Ha, ha. This is awesome Travis.

    You’re right, it can be so expensive to maintain hair. I usually get mine cut every two months, but I *only* pay $22 (before the tip). I say only, because I used to pay over $40 for a haircut until I became frugalfied. 🙂 And I don’t color my hair, but I know it can raise a salon visit to well over $100. Yikes!

    Bald = financially responsible. You ARE a lean, mean solar powered machine. And you look great!

    • Personally, I think it’s CRAZY how much a haircut costs. In some ways, I can understand why a cut for a woman (or a man with longer hair) may run more as it’s usually a styled cut. But seriously, before I got my clippers I’d walk into a discount place, have them buzz me with a 1 gard – 5 minutes later I’d be forking over $15. We recently took my son in to get his hair cut (our neighbor’s salon) and just about got sticker shock with a bill of $25. Unreal!

  2. Ah, finally–respect for the bald man! After years of my wife cutting my hair, I finally found the sort of barber I’ve been searching for: One who gives bald-man discounts. My guy cuts my hair for about half (it seems to vary each visit) of his going rate. Awesome!

  3. JMK says:

    I’d love to sport your “do”, but sadly buzz cuts for women have yet to catch on. I get mine cut as short as I feel I can go without drawing attention and spike it up with a little gel. If I have to get out the blowdryer I know it’s time for another cut. I only go to those cheap walk in places – the cut I get isn’t rocket science. I’ve never colored my hair in my life. I just don’t see what all the fuss is about hair, for men or women. I’m an annomaly for sure and definitely low maintenance! I’m always stunned to hear what other women spend on their hair (cuts, color, highlights, special products etc. etc). I also use the $1 shampoo (or a bar of soap) and my only splurge is a bit of gel to make my 1″ of hair into a spikey style. With short, fine, super straight hair I tend to look like Spock if I don’t spike it up. For many years I worked in an R&D tech environment and I’d estimate that 75% of the men shaved their heads. Working there I kind of started seeing it as normal and a guy with a big head of hair started looking odd.

  4. OMG you have left me in tears!!!! Not that I disagree with your platform here…I mean let’s face it, financially responsible men are HOT. Vonnie is one lucky girl that is for sure. 🙂

  5. Haha Travis, nice post. True story though, I usually get a haircut every 5-6 weeks, and I’ll tell ya, it’s not cheap!!!!!

    • I can believe it, Kevin! I can’t imagine if I actually had to pay for to get my head shaved every week. Of course, if I had to pay for it, I would probably do something else with what’s left of my hair.

  6. Man, if I weren’t gay… DAMN! HOT!

  7. Travis I am glad to hear you have embraced your baldness or follicle challenge as you call it! I personally think bald is sexy–don’t worry Vonnie I have my own bald guy at home!

    And yes the financial aspect of “free” is definitely attractive!!

    I have my own haircut every 3 months and the expense is never one I look forward too. But I have been cutting my sons hair at home with a $15 set of clippers since he was 2 years old. Every 2 weeks I get them out and trim him up–right now it’s super easy because he’s been sporting a mohawk for like 6 months.

    • I definitely embrace it, Suzanne – I look back at pictures now and think I just look goofy with hair. I’ll take the way I look now over any other time in my life – hands down. In fact, if I could just make what’s still there stop growing back, I’d be a happy guy.

      A mohawk, heh? Mmmmm, I wonder if I could rock a mohawk. Of course, it would have to be a reverse mohawk….but I think I’d just end up looking like a clown, so I’ll just stick to what I’ve got.

      Thanks so much for your comment!

  8. Rock it and be proud. My wife cuts my hair, so we’ll save thousands over our lifetime with ‘free’ cuts…unless my follicles become challenged themselves.

  9. Jackie says:

    Heck, I’m a woman, and I cut and color my own hair. I get a box at the dollar store and mix up just enough to touch up the grey at my front hairline. One $ does 3 or 4 times. Hah! Talk about saving money. When I was in my 20’s I went to get my haircut a few times. I always hated it, so I started doing my own. Much better. People can’t believe I can cut the back and shape it. I always cut our 4 boys’ and 2 girls’ hair when they lived home. Can you believe, though, my precious husband has never let me touch scissors to his hair!!! What’s up with that?

  10. Cutting your own hair as a woman is quite impressive! My mom cut my brother and I’s hair when we were smaller too….I can’t even imagine how much you’ve saved over the years cutting the hair of all those kids. Kudos to you for your dedication for saving money…..tell your husband to get with the program! 🙂

  11. Agatha says:

    This rocks so hard it HURTS. I freaking love you and your bald head.

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