“Should we stop and get the ladies flowers?” suggested the friend I was car pooling with as we pulled into town. The beaming smile on her face told me that Vonnie was very appreciative of the bouquet of flowers I brought her after being out of town for a few days.
Relationships are hard work. You need to show your love and appreciation on a daily basis, as well as put their needs before your own. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. These are things I do willingly and joyfully without even thinking about them. When you love someone, these things just come naturally. That being said, as anybody in a long term relationship knows, you have to mix things up every now and then. Having laundry done, the sink empty of dishes, and grocery shopping done by the Vonnie wakes up on a Saturday morning makes be “the best husband ever” for awhile, but sooner or later a guy has to come up with a new idea.
During the last four and a half years, while we’ve been paying off our credit card debt and getting a handle of our finances, there’s been a very important relationship tool that’s been missing from my tool belt.
Vonnie has accused me of not being very spontaneous in the past. I admit, I am a routine guy. I thrive when my schedule is exactly the same day after day. I do, however, get the occasional wild tickle, especially when I know it will make my lovely wife smile.
We’ve worked very hard to get on the same page in regards to our finances. It’s worked so well that we both know exactly where all our money is, and what it’s allocated for. With that being the case, it’s impossible to spend some money on a spur of the moment idea.
Creating a fund for “Unnamed Spontaneous Activities” sort of destroys the intent.
I would love to be able to surprise my wife. To be able to have my wife walk into the house to a huge bouquet of flowers on the table for no reason at all. Or to pick her up from work, and instead of taking her home inform her that we were going out for a date. I’ve fantasized about handing her a card just as she opens her eyes on a Saturday morning that lists the times of her appointments at the spa that day.
Spontaneity is something I’d like to reintroduce into our relationship once we make our final payment to our debt management program, and our 109K of credit card debt is gone. We’ve already talked about allocating an amount of “fun money” for each of us each week that we can spend on whatever we want, with no questions asked.
I can’t think of anything better I could spend my money on.
How do you keep your relationship fresh while paying off debt? Do you plan to be more spontaneous once the debt is gone?