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Last week we took my son to his incoming freshman high school schedule pickup and orientation. I repeated something that I said to him last spring when we were having some difficulties making him put forth the required effort on his school work.
“This year you start high school. This shit’s for real. It counts forever.”
I then went on to try to explain the chain of events that starts with day one of his freshman year. Hard work, good grades, and school involvement will dictate what college opportunities will eventually open up in front of him in a few years. But it’s more than just having a good selection of schools that will accept him, there are financial repercussions as well.
We expect him to go to college. We’ve been drilling that into his head for years. You can argue all day about whether a college education is worth the cost, but the net is I believe a person has a better chance of success in life with college education than without it.
Good grades open doors to scholarships and grants. One month into my senior year of high school I had been accepted to the college I had selected. From that point on, I would stop by my high school guidance counselor’s office at least once a week asking if there were any new grants or scholarships I could apply for. I also continuously called my soon to be university asking the same question. I applied for any and all for which I could possibly qualify.
My favorite scholarship story is one of a mass communications scholarship. I wasn’t going to major in journalism or mass communications in any way, shape, or form. But that wasn’t a requirement for the scholarship. The requirement was that applicants were involved in a mass communications activity in high school. Because of my interest and skill with computers, I had been the layout editor of the school newspaper. I applied, and received a scholarship.
I was awarded so many grants and scholarships that their total amount actually exceeded the total cost of my freshman year in college. The recurring ones that extended through my entire college career picked up the tab for my tuition and books, and between working half time and some help from my parents I paid for for my room and board.
I graduated from college debt free.
That’s the goal I have for my children as well. I want them to start their adult life in their career of choice without the weight of student loans. Armed with good financial sense and no debt, they can immediately begin contributing to their retirement accounts on day ONE of their first job after graduation. Imagine how much that will grow over the 30-40 years of their career, and how much bigger their retirement nest egg will be than if they had to pay off tens of thousands of dollars of student loans
A fourteen year old will have trouble grasping the true gravity of his actions at this stage of life, but it’s our job as parents to instill in him a work ethic that reflects a perspective of pride and “do your best” with each and every task. The grades he earns this year set in motion a series of events that will impact him until the end of his life.
Like I said, this shit’s for real. It counts forever.
Travis, you are so right! In the HS where I used to work, they had a personal finance class. Students did not take it seriously enough because most of them didn’t work yet! It is almost like we need to learn about finances the hard way if our parents are not quite on it. As far as student loans, I totally agree! The weight of them was not worth it. I am going to try and protect my kids from them at all costs!
Your high school is the first one I’ve heard that had a personal finance class…..I’ve love to see that happen more often. You’re right though, students at that age (even Seniors) have this perspective that they have all the time in the world, and that their invincible. The older I get, the more respect I have for the job that high school teachers (well, all teachers in general) do.
I remember applying for a gazillion scholarships and, aside from the school’s merit scholarship that was a whopping $500 each quarter at an expensive for-profit (it paid for like 2 credit hours), I only won a $50 scholarship, plus $16,000 in grant money from the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. Still wound up with too much student loan debt and a worthless degree. Glad you were able to make it through debt free! Hopefully your son will too!
Many of my scholarships were $500 each quarter as well, but they definitely added up. I know my story is not really a common one, and I do consider myself lucky. Thanks for sharing your story, Kasey….I hope that I can indeed give that gift to both my kids!
Back in high school I would have downplayed such advice but then you get out and life happens and you wish someone had drummed this precious advice into your head. Oh yeah, this $hit is for real alright and I kinda wish more high-school freshmen would realize it…if you can get it right on the word go, you’ll have a way smoother ride. Your son is one lucky guy 🙂
Thanks for your kind words, Simon! Yeah, that’s the tough part for the parents….to try to get that message to sink into their brains – or at the very least promote and encourage the work ethic to do their best on everything. So even if they don’t fully understand the implications of what they are accomplishing at the time, they are moving in the right direction. By the time they really get their arms around the big picture, it would be TOO LATE!
My eldest has just graduated from university and started her first “real” job debt-free. My youngest is about to start high school. This was a timely post for me. I’ll pass the message along (though perhaps I’ll say, “This stuff is for real.” : ) I find there’s a delicate balance in giving teens advice. They know everything. Once they move into their twenties, they become more open to parental wisdom. Still, I will do my best and balance delicately as I coach my teen children about money matters.
LOL, Prudence – I hope my language didn’t offend you, and I apologize if it did. I rarely curse, but in this case I really felt it was warranted when that conversation occurred between my son and I last Spring. I really wanted to emphasize the point, and I think it did the job.
Finding that balance between giving teens advice, and backing off to let them make their own mistakes is extremely challenging. Sometimes you just have to throw an idea out there, plant the seed, and hope it grows. 🙂 Thanks so much for your thoughts, Prudence!
Your language didn’t offend me. No need to apologize : )
Glad to hear, Prudence…..the last thing I want to do is to turn off readers!
We are facing the exact same thing. My kid is great, she even made varsity golf team freshman ear, but she can blow it all if she doesn’t put forth effort! I am so not looking forward to to the drama!
I remember reading a blog entry or two on your site about your daughter’s golf tryouts….sounded like quite a process. There’s a lot going on socially as our kids enter high school as well, we need to keep them on track and focused! Good luck to you – looking forward to swapping high school stories with you. 🙂
I actually think that kids at 14 are aware of their actions. At 14 years old, currently my daughter is in Year 10 which is Grade 9, and she is taking her GCSE’s next year and she has already looked at the grades you need for university (90%+ in all of her subjects) and she chose academically challenging subjects: mandarin, she took french and german outside of school, geography, history and latin. She’s joined both choirs, two orchestras, lacrosse team and debate, because hse knows how important her extra-curricular are and she’s doing her Duke of Edinburgh and a World Challenge trip for a month in Peru (building schools for children and wells). And she’s volunteering at a charity shop, and being a house captain and year ambassador and year council.
14 is not even that young.
They can be aware of their actions, but I think their ability to think long term really depends upon the child. Some can..most can’t.